Happy birthday to me?

Just a little blog, I most probably will write another later tonight, but I had the urge to write now, so I will fulfill this urge, while listening to Jason Mraz. It soothes me.

I am finally motherfucking 18!
As I was rudely awoken this morning by my brother at exactly 7:45, singing 'happy birthday' in his postive eight year old, I thought to myself that I had been living in Wolverhampton for 18 years and what shit it was. This thought bored me. I also started to think to how I had not really achieved anything in the whole of my 18 years of roaming this city. I started actually thinking to what I had achieved. Yes I had manage to complete school and 6th form. Yes I had manage to keep just above average in my subjects. But I believe that is all. My main thought drifting swiftly through this slightly empty head of mine was the thought to how I had actually let myself get screwed over so many times. I would never let my 'friends' do this. I don't actually class that many people friends, too two-faced for my liking, twisted in some fucked up bitchy world, with which they love for me to be involved in.

So now I am officially 18, I am planning to act more like an immature twat, but perhaps have a better choice with who I choose to like and 'do'. Oh who I am kidding, at least now I prepared to get screwed over again I suppose.
But at least my head was a bit clearer this morning, I am glad I did not let me stubborness get the better of me. I actually applaud myself for not being stubborn, and I believe there was positive input at the end of this. This pleased me highly, leaving a smile on my slight sick face. (the use of the term sick here is actually literal, sick was being produced everywhere, not healthy)

So yes today I am slightly confused,slightly positive, slightly negative,leaving me to question my birthday emotions. I must think positive but I keep having doubts run through my mind, emotions within my head are telling me history is reapeating itself. Happy Birthday to me? Meh.


At times like these I wish my nan was here, I know she could have helped me.